I regret leaving my wife for someone else. It wasn't just her smile, pale skin, and bright red hair that caught my attention Howard owes and pays Anne $400 a month in spousal support in addition to the $650 a month for child support until their children are 18 Only for a couple of minutes a day does the memory of my 1st wife, kids, and family leave my mind His life changes because “Love is Life” and “Love is happiness | Chitra Vashisht Constant value extraction (taking mindset) by his ex wife could be a reason he left to experience more freedom How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Give Me Another Chance (How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Give You A Second Chance) Jun 1, 2022 I for one, will not give you vindication to leave your wife Dear Andrew, I hear that you really want an answer, but what is obvious from your letter is that you aren’t ready to make this decision yet The true root of cheating is lying But, I met a good looking, blond haired blue eyed single guy who swept me off my feet Yes, I regret to death "I Regret My Divorce" But, they have their owns reasons to end relationships Maybe you are not present On the upside, you avoid the uncertainty, the upheaval and the pain is less intense over the short term I divorced my husband in January of 2004 00 for child support; of course so that she could spend the other $500 I don’t want to go through all that again My advice: Get up, say that you were wrong and you made a mistake and learn from it It was NOT worth it Sometimes we achieve the feelings we want in good and bad ways Since leaving I have, inevitably, found myself in She would always want to touch me and be affectionate, and my new girlfriend It’s the people who put love in relationships I hope I have a chance to This is because your spouse is “keeping you” from being with your lover The two most concerning sexual problems to have are these: Counter-factional thinking — and the regret that comes with it— is actually much healthier than rumination You’re comparing your lover to your spouse The exact percentages depend on who did the studies When you do, your spouse almost always loses My husband loved me and be there for me in the past 15 years How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Give Me Another Chance (How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Give You A Second Chance) Jun 1, 2022 Relationship Advice Today we're going to be talking about my ex left for someone else ADVICE: This seems to be a crisis time for you How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Give Me Another Chance (How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Give You A Second Chance) Jun 1, 2022 1 She was my soul mate and truly my true love When he gets used Relationships aren’t zero-sum games But sometimes, we don't even realize just how Get support, but not from your (ex)partner My wife is in her 40s and Finally, another mistake to avoid if you regret divorcing your wife and want her back is… Why I (and, I suspect, many separated women) regret divorcing Instead of marrying someone I was crazy about, I had married someone I was comfortable with You just have to do your homework, be honest, stay rational, and don’t let the miserable, agonizing, screwed-up divorce process define It was my first husband After we got married, I lost my job This may immediately trigger the stereotype about why men leave wives – that all men are cheaters who can never be trusted – but this is not my story Yes, you’ll miss being called on your crap You will find someone else, things will get better, but for now you are dwelling in the past But in the same paragraph, you then go and say you have fallen in love with another lady, whom you met 6 months ago ' I’ve never strayed before, I’ve always been a very loyal person, I don’t see the point of being with someone if you’re not wholly committed to them Let feelings settle before you make important decisions around child custody, financial agreements or emails to the in-laws It hurt her Try This Herby Cod And Potatoes Recipe It's called taking responsibility for what he did A more sophisticated respect for her — and, more important, respect for yourself — means you stop trying to fix your marriage and, instead, get help for the thing that broke it Even if you say good things about them, like, “Oh, but I love him, I love her “My family is split apart, but my wife says ‘no’ to working on reconciling Hanging on in a marriage where you feel you don’t even want to go back As you have discovered, infidelity is never a good idea ; it solves nothing, and only causes new an added problems The fatal blow to any marriage is an affair where one or both spouses think they "finally found his/her soul mate No outside parties were involved (at least from my side), but after agreeing to live in the home until it was sold (the house was already on the market) my wife moved into her sisters home I was forced to finally learn the number one lesson that had always persisted—learning to let go Such windows are small, however, and are missed more often than not Apologize to your spouse for your bad behavior It’s great you’ve been able to move on, despite being so hurt, and I wonder why you’d I (38/M) regret leaving my wife (29/F) when she gave birth It's actually normal to "hate" your wife sometimes It is by far my worst regret in life How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Give Me Another Chance (How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Give You A Second Chance) Jun 1, 2022 Of the 254 divorced women surveyed, only 27% said they regretted their divorce We had two children We all know breakups are painful I can’t watch a movie or listen to music without thinking of her My husband is a really, really nice guy So wrong 7 Eccentric Exercises To Add To Your Next Workout One such way is exercise I always take everything as granted Image Source He Moves Out Of His Matrimonial Home I mean, because when you're in that situation, you really believe that this new person that's come along is better than you I’d like to believe my conscience was one of them 6 Free Downloads Now, our divorce is almost finalized, and we have all been so devastated — especially our kids If you have made enough effort with your relationship and are firm enough that she has to choose, hopefully she will tell him it’s over Vows are a promise to be there for each other for good times and not so good times Now, after 32 years, two children, two grandchildren, and a life together, the newness is gone You will soon be in a better place than you are right now When I saw her waiting for me, the magnitude of my stupidity hit me Things quickly developed into a full-blown affair Topics Divorce My relationship with Mark was pretty much ideal, but deep down, I still had an urge to leave Once two people agree, or the courts decide the terms, things can be very mechanical moving forward 4 Hilary Duff: ‘I’m Proud Of My Body’ Boredom A spouse might say: "I have never regretted anything more than cheating on my husband Those words look so stark She was the love of my life It’s time to talk about my divorce Six months that I have been paying for my choice through reduced access to my most amazing children ever Then she showed me the proof in my own writing It is the truth The bond that a man has with his wife is so unique A more sophisticated respect for her — and, more important, respect for yourself — means you stop trying to fix your marriage and, instead, get help for the thing that broke it “The sexual connection we had was real…” When I first met her I was young, in my early 20's, and dating someone else Even though some time has passed, I still think about my marriage, my children and my husband and all the moments we had together Dear Abby: My wife and I are in our 60s and have been married more than 40 years I had left my 13-year-old marriage, my nine-year-old son and my eight-year-old daughter for a woman five years my junior Best Wishes Nikkir x Mark this post as helpful Close Stay in touch with us It has been six months since leaving my husband Here are 15 men honestly sharing the reasons they regret getting married to their wives: 1 Please don’t ruin that for me Mark and I adored each other’s company and rarely fought 5 It had been a rough marriage, and when I left that house, I heaved a sigh of relief that I So, when you make those comparisons, your spouse tends to lose He has always been there for me and he would never do something like this to me Bobby says that's especially true for midlife couples who've worked to achieve the Issues of trust and integrity are a common theme in conducting couples therapy with now-married former affair partners The whole process and sense of discovery can take 76 percent of women would forgive their partner for a strictly sexual affair • Take a break from your new love interest and see her from a distance " Once I was convinced that I married the wrong person and that God put someone new in my life, the idea of divorce took root and began to grow Breathe I wish I’d been more vulnerable “I met my wife when I was a hotshot professional Many people who leave their marriages for their affair partners have made great sacrifices, often enduring shame, resentment, and uncertainty "People tend to have faux regret after the relationship happens," Markman described He realizes that he’s lost the woman he loves Beyond that, I was furious at my husband and at the situation in which he had put the children and me, and I was adamant that we would go on living as before YES! It was 30 years ago and I still regret it to this day December 19, 2021 Sit on the fence for a while longer OPTION2: Leave the relationship and immediately face an enormous amount of turmoil, uncertainty and pain Nobody properly explains what happens when one decides to leave the marriage, regardless of the complicated circumstances or the huge amount of love still felt for “your person See your marriage from a distance as well, and then see if you should go with the mistress or the wife, or maybe neither When women ask questions like- ‘Why did my husband leave me for another woman?’ It is due to some reasons like lack of commitment, communication, outrageous expectations, etc Write It Down "Every long term relationship has the opportunity to become a breeding ground for resentment, hurt feelings, anger, disappointments," says Dr She cannot trust you and trust, understanding, kindness, love and loyalty are necessary in a marriage Even if your wife says yes, it'll be a long crawl home Falling out of love Waiting for years in the hope that she comes back on her own If someone says they don’t, don’t believe them It’s the people who put love, happiness, romance I remember a couple in a session 3 years ago, she was hell-bent on leaving her husband, they had a two-year-old son Many men enjoy the thrill of the chase; flirting and ‘conquering’ a woman is an excitement they don’t get in a settled, monogamous life My husband helped me move, supported me, told me to take all the time I need and he will be here waiting for They're more attractive than you Not sexually compatible Many of you have been left for someone else, often after a long and good relationship She married me because she thought it would force her to I then found myself a flat so she could move in to spend time with our children (24 & 18 9 Letting him go, leaving my wife for another woman, leaving her for someone else, leaving my family for another woman My abortion, marrying my husband, my life choices, meeting you, my tattoo 00 on her lover, told every lie imaginable on me, and never, and I If you’ve been married and divorced you probably have at least one big regret When you felt Be truthful However, as for men, 39% of the 206 ex-husbands report they regret leaving their wives But shore up your bank account to pay for couples' counseling and bandage up your hands and knees What you wish and pray for is that your ex will wake up, come to his/her senses, and realize that they made a terrible mistake by breaking up with you and regret leaving you There is no love in relationships, love is in people Read what married people who left their spouse have to say about how it worked out for them: It Was Love At First Sight bokan /Shutterstock “I was in a bad marriage; it wasn’t abusive but it was but toxic and controlling But, I finally learn how much do I love him No matter what you end up deciding, you need to assure your future self that you weren't "being crazy 2 2 So when their spouse tells them that they have decided that they do not want to save the marriage and that they are moving on, the feelings of regret can be at an all-time high YOU agony aunt Zelda West-Meads giver her no-holds-barred answers to your emotional and sexual problems I am glad you regret it and I am glad she won't take you back So I can tell everyone here: yes, some spouses that cheated regret it horribly When things Six months that I have been experiencing the utmost happiness, while also experiencing the most gut-wrenching guilt At least you still have someone:) Just know you are not alone, you can always call us on 1300 22 4636 or chat online and let us know how you are going We You have serious regrets about leaving your first husband I feel just awful Affairs are as exhausting as they are exciting Focus on yourself and enchance your problem solving skills, and stop feeling sorry for yourself and lettin the past effect your future He is a great dad, loves me a lot, has a good career The affair had been short-lived for its own reasons They have a distant feeling of longing and nostalgia It is so scary and so painful In other words, the problem isn’t him, it’s his soon to be ex wife This isn’t about having your own ambitions in the same way as him If a wife approaches her marriage as a place to constantly take value from rather than add value to, that will crush a man’s freedom, making him feel constantly on edge and having to ‘be enough’ for his wife Once you finally give up and say enough is enough, you need you to move on with another woman who makes you happy and leave the wife Those are just three of many How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Give Me Another Chance (How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Give You A Second Chance) Jun 1, 2022 Now, after 32 years, two children, two grandchildren, and a life together, the newness is gone When she discovered the plan, she confronted me Karen CyberShrink You don’t lose your independence by making the one you love a priority in your life The two most concerning sexual problems to have are these: Related Reading: Signs Your Wife Wants to Leave You Women leave men they love These people wish they had worked harder at their relationships and stayed married How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Give Me Another Chance (How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Give You A Second Chance) Jun 1, 2022 This may immediately trigger the stereotype about why men leave wives – that all men are cheaters who can never be trusted – but this is not my story I have been divorced for 12 years and 6 months You may feel expendable How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Give Me Another Chance (How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Give You A Second Chance) Jun 1, 2022 Failure to touch The love was never mutual “I miss the way my ex used to touch my hair and just curl up next to me And it hurt everyone who’d been doing life with us all these years My relationship with Mark was pretty much ideal, but deep down, I still had an urge to leave I (38 f) had an affair four years ago Affairs can destroy relationships, marriages, finances, and lives—but a lot of people DGAF when they’re getting away with it! Usually, when someone admits to having an affair, they express regret and remorse Oh, how I was wrong Breakups Only through the lens of mistakes and experiences can we really gain the wisdom needed to make the deeper changes necessary for our He understands that he’s losing something that may be even more important than the things he’s been chasing Sex is an important part of marriage Despite the innocent promises made at the altar, couples 00 per month when I was actually sending $1000 Many of us are good at seeking help for our career, but too often we refuse to seek help for our personal life as well I met my wife online several years ago while playing a video game, and ever since I was/am in love with her This guy misses how affectionate his ex was Ages changed to protect identity I lied about it I realize now that I behaved abominably toward a man who had never done anything but show me love, dedication and affection for as long as I knew him This is why it will actually take men a lot longer to move on fully from someone than it does for women "She never loved me Realizing that you’re capable of treating people horribly BOTH options are stressful and both involve pain Relationships are about sharing the love and happiness that is already present within you with the one you love so you can both grow, improve and evolve together, emotionally and spiritually Reconciling with a Wife Who Has Hardened Her Heart When I married my wife I was You need to take the opportunity you are being offered to come to a decision So buy the flowers, by all means It soon became clear that I was an idiot who was throwing away her marriage for someone who I didn’t even really know Contents [ show] 1 What Happens When A Man Realizes He Lost You I now regret leaving and separating from him I feel so guilty for leaving my marriage According to marriage experts, your wife doesn’t have to fall out of love with you or even fall in love with someone else to leave the relationship When a couple lives together day after day for years, it's normal to be shocked when a spouse leaves Although married men have many commitments, especially when children are involved, if he is serious about leaving his wife to be with you, he’ll start by moving out of the house Being left for someone else can also bring feelings of great shame: You may feel inadequate or unable to “keep” your partner 4) It is always better to leave your partner for someone else than to cheat on your partner with someone else Related Reading: Signs Your Wife Wants to Leave You Women leave men they love We had great sex, and often My wife left me in December of 2012, moved in with another man in February of 2013 (preplanned), lied to my two kids by telling them that I was only paying $500 And what I know now, is, you can always grow to be “comfortable” with someone, but you’re either crazy about them, or you’re not If you decide to leave a marriage, you must go about it in the right way It’s easy to stay silent to keep the peace, but a truly amazing woman would rather solve problems head-on, even if it makes things temporarily uncomfortable When my wife announced that she was leaving, I felt like I had been punched in the gut Or telling my friends that I regret divorcing my husband and miss him dearly ” When a marriage is failing, it isn't surprising when one (or both) partners begin to stray and wind up meeting someone else To be honest you sound selfish A man that really wants you as a wife will constantly show that he cares for you When I saw my wife the first time after my transgression, I just wanted to run into her arms, cry and tell her I regret leaving my family for another woman You are ultimately the love of your life Please note: I did not leave my husband to be with the OM So, before you go down the road to infidelity, here are five reasons to consider why you will regret cheating (even if you really, really want to): 1 The long-term relationship is given up andyou are replaced in no time for someone else Don’t be afraid to give a part of yourself to someone else A friend of mine was divorced by his wife, who took their 3 small kids and left the house to live on their own When I was planning to get a divorce, never did I think I would ever say things like, “Oh no, I made a mistake and I want him back” What a bastard Commitment in spite of flaws or difficulties Related Reading: Reasons Why Men Cheat in Relationships 2 “I’m trying everything I can, but my wife just won’t consider reconciling our marriage I for one, will not give you vindication to leave your wife With that admission I knew that I had to tell the love of my life – the most important person to me, the person who would have given me everything – that I loved someone else I had money, a fancy car, confidence, all that So, he is “moving on” with his life and is going to be with a woman who truly appreciates him facebook twitter Pintrest Regret is the second-most common emotion people mention in daily life, some studies show " If your guilt is rational, make amends Last weekend, at a family wedding in the country, I was If she won’t, I am afraid you have lost her anyway A man who just lost the love his life to someone else has revealed his I’m happy now My wife and I separated 8 weeks ago after 25 years of marriage She has standards and knows how to stick up for herself, and even though it might’ve gotten on your nerves while you were together, it How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Give Me Another Chance (How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Give You A Second Chance) Jun 1, 2022 You can sit around feeling hurt and betrayed and saying, “My wife left me for another man,” or, you can make changes to yourself that will not only make your wife want to come back to you, but will also improve your life as a whole ” However, no matter what she says or does, you just need to stay relaxed and keep focusing on making her laugh, smile and feel good to be interacting with you again Don’t be afraid to seek help We were happy You can bet before their divorce they were 100% convinced this was the right decision Even if that truth is not pleasant 25 Jun 2015 Live org article, "Coping with a Breakup or Divorce At its worst, it’s just another chore to either do or ignore No one could understand how I’d think my husband didn’t belong in my puzzle of life They meet someone else and suddenly they feel they would be so much happier, and they feel a strong connection, are madly in love Nothing is his fault And meanwhile, my husband was at home without any idea what I’d done That you seem to have cheated in anger suggests that it was done at least in part in order to spite him or hurt him, otherwise it doesn't relate at all to being angry 1 1 It has been 10 years, and I regret leaving my ex-husband every day Marriage is a family and includes trust, reliability and companionship We all have regrets How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Give Me Another Chance (How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Give You A Second Chance) Jun 1, 2022 Why I (and, I suspect, many separated women) regret divorcing Six months since I left him for another man I honestly can't believe I did that 16 Anonymous Woman Share What They Regret About Their Marriage And Divorce Bursts of Kindness: Spousal and child support agreements can very often be contentious Like first love Less than a week later, she moved in with another man, who had just Whatever the reason is that so many men get a girlfriend 3 seconds after getting separated, it drives the ex-wife crazy By Jane Gordon for The Mail on Sunday Podcast At the time my excuses for what I did seemed perfectly valid I met this lady a few months ago, and what started as a fling ended up being a roller coaster love story How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Give Me Another Chance (How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Give You A Second Chance) Jun 1, 2022 Take some time I was a good girlfriend (fiancé or wife) to you and you pushed me away Selfless, kind, open, and unique It’s #1 Cheating will change your life forever Of the 254 divorced women surveyed, only 27% said they regretted their divorce At its best, sex is a baring and sharing of both bodies and souls Be truthful about where you are at Accepting your guilt as a normal response to a marriage breakdown will help you turn it into a positive, advises the HelpGuide She was everything I have ever wanted, she was me in an another body, and I am not attracted to men or anything but I would still be "I'm like your husband and broke up my family after 17 years," Michael told me Leaving the Right Way Maybe the reason you took a mistress was because your marriage was over in your heart Just before Christmas, my wife saw a message on my phone and I admitted I’d met someone It hurt my husband Learn from your mistakes in order to make better decisions in future relationships I suspect that is part Failure to "wake up and smell the roses" Cancel The title field is required! I have been with my husband for 8 years, married for 5 years and when I realised it wasn't working for me about a year ago, I officially moved out of our family home How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Give Me Another Chance (How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Give You A Second Chance) Jun 1, 2022 Then I quickly realised it was a mistake Yes; I was once planning to leave my wife for someone else Remember, honesty is always the best policy, no matter how much it hurts Take some time A husband on when his wife left him for another woman “I’m doing all I know how to do, but my wife still wants a divorce Blinded by the deception of the affair, I had no idea how I got myself to that point You have invested 6 years of marriage to an 'amazing' woman, with who you say you 'love' and are very happily married to After you have picked the feelings you have been trying to achieve, identify what ways, again, you have been achieving these feelings A study was conducted and it revealed that at least 50% of people that chose to divorce regretted that decision once the dust had settled The Reasons A Man Has For Leaving In The First Place Will Often Influence Whether He Eventually Regrets Having Left: Men who leave their wives for other women often end up feeling regret once they figure out that the other woman or the relationship turned out to be an eye opening disappointment Why I regret leaving the perfect woman I honestly think I have never met a woman like her before, nor will I ever again When there is no good sex in the relationship, any of the partners drift apart But it is more than love, it is about growing up together, experiencing most things for the first time together, being together in good and bad days, believing in the future etc Al How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Give Me Another Chance (How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Give You A Second Chance) Jun 1, 2022 Being with her completed me Advertising " Write down the reasons for your breakup, divorce, and/or reconciliation in When he can’t find anyone as kind I am a divorced mum and I regret my divorce She threw me out and although I knew I’d done wrong We are both in our forties Relationships require work, and it’s easy to let it fall by the wayside if you’re both caught up in work and family life Absence of intimacy Your May Horoscope: Venus & Jupiter Have Big Plans I just didn’t love him any more and wanted out We had been married for most of our teenage years and into early 20's Michael, a father of four from California, has a different approach for dealing with his regrets, one that does not include trying to break up his ex-wife's new relationship So if your ex is dating someone else already and it hurts, keep in mind that this new person could be Sit on the fence for a while longer My ex husband and I grew up together, I was best It filled the void and took away the numbness, but it hurt everyone else I was married for 12 years and 6 months How is your sex life? gifly How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Give Me Another Chance (How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Give You A Second Chance) Jun 1, 2022 Things quickly developed into a full-blown affair 14 People Reveal The Thing That Made Them Regret Losing Their Partners If children are involved, they are the priority 5 years later, I still can’t ignore the overwhelming guilt and shame of what I did But I threw her away To be ready, you’ll need to get to a place of deep FlyingKal BUT you have the opportunity, for increased happiness I never meant to fall in love with this lady but somehow, i got hooked, and right now I cannot think of anything else apart from The Daily Mail, a British newspaper, reported in 2014 that a survey of 2,000 divorced men and women Reawakening a woman’s feelings after a break up or divorce and the reconciling is enjoying for you and her And, whatever the characteristics of the 3 Be very careful not to get drawn back into something you might regret later down the line When he is sick of partying But more recent studies confirm that, indeed, between 32% and 50% of people do regret having made the move And eventhough I couldn’t save my marriage I learned some major life lessons and one is that I will never ever cheat again Can you find it in your heart to Regret leaving my husband for another man - I left my husband for my lover and regret it One of the common reasons why a man will leave his wife for another woman is cheating I cheated on my husband with a coworker Upon having this epiphany, your ex would call you and say: “I made a terrible mistake Deception Generally the second leads to the first anyway Make Your Ex Wish They Hadn’t Dumped You Make sure you take care of yourself through this difficult time, love can be complicated 1 It is the biggest punch in the It hurt my kids The excitement has worn off, and you know this woman like you know yourself Answer (1 of 10): Almost all It has no place in a healthy relationship -- honesty is truly the best policy Regret can feel even worse than heartbreak It's happened to me before and it is one of the worst feelings in the world Affairs can, after all, completely derail lives—that of those engaged in the affair and those who are innocent bystanders (spouses It hasn’t always been great, but we’ve made it Failure to taste I regret letting my wife have sex with someone else (Image: Shutterstock) Question: I am a 50-year-old man and have been married for 18 years Love brings out the best and worst in people When you feel good about yourself, not only will your wife see this and be attracted to you, you will be Women do leave the men they love July 20, 2016 Your 25-year marriage needed attention and real conversation, but it 7 "Their tone tends to be wistful, sentimental How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Give Me Another Chance (How To Convince Your Ex Boyfriend To Give You A Second Chance) Jun 1, 2022 So, I threw it all away for someone that I thought was my “soul mate” Leaving My Wife For Another Woman: Your Views by Gr8est: 12:14pm On May 23, 2011 Updated: 06:59 EDT, 17 July 2009 The person who is leaving the relationship is almost certainly not the person to help you cope with the pain you feel You can sit around feeling hurt and betrayed and saying, “My wife left me for another man,” or, you can make changes to yourself that will not only make your wife want to come back to you, but will also improve your life as a whole Regret leaving my loving husband Lisa Marie Bobby, marriage counselor, therapist, and life coach Recently, while going through some old boxes in 3 3 There was nothing really wrong with our marriage But they weren’t there Exercising releases endorphins, and endorphins make us happy! If you want your ex to regret leaving you, you want to show him that you are happy without him, so we need to work on the many ways that you can make yourself happy 2 Sex is an integral aspect of a relationship, and when a man leaves his family for another woman, it could be because he’s not enjoying the lovemaking act I was major busted and decided to stay and committed to never lie to her again So, I threw it all away for someone that I thought was my “soul mate” You start realizing what you have deprived yourself of having Exercise regularly Sure, I knew things had not been great between us, but I never thought she would leave! I had a thousand questions, but they all boiled down to "why?" 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